Where everything goes wrong you know? You arent happy with anything you do, or anyone else does, every little thing makes you frustrated and annoyed, and you are so uncomfortable that even someone saying ‘hello’ in the wrong tone will make you smack them in the mouth.
And as the day goes on all you can think about is feeling better, knowing you CAN feel better, and it just doesnt come, you just keep getting worse, to the point where you want to break down and cry. You are jealous of everyone, everyone who looks nicer than you, acts nicer than you, has better things in life than you. But you hold it all in, and because you hold it in for so long you are now at the point where you are going to explode, and you’re holding back the tears so much, that as soon as you are alone you will just break down. Then all you can think about is how you have work tomorrow, with people you hate, then having to go out with people you dont want to be out with, but you are doing it to keep other people happy.
I think sometimes i do too much for other people, and to be totally honest i need to do something for myself, and if I dont get into college this year then i will totally break down, and feel like a failure.
All i need is one person here with me, thats all i want, and all i have wanted all day, and if i have made him jealous or angry at me then im so fucking sorry, but ive had a shit day too, even if you said your day has been amazing earlier, amazing but stressful. And when you get home i just want a hello or something, not a beating down.
I need you to love me, not attack me.
